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“WE’RE GOIN’ ON A WABBIT TRAIL!” (Mark 6:1-6)
August 12, 2018 10:30 AM Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “Helping a Friend”
Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking.
Saul, the banker, says to Morty, “So listen, Morty, you know I don’t swim so well.”
Morty remembered how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class when he was just a kid. He begins tugging Saul toward shore. After twenty minutes, Morty begins to get tired.
Finally about 50 feet from shore, Morty asks Saul, “So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?”
Saul replies, “Morty, this is a lousy time to be asking for money!”
“A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY” Mark 5
August 5, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: STINGY RICH MAN
A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town.
At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, “Pastor, I will contribute $1,000.”
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood back up and shouted, “Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000.”
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, “Pastor, I will double my last pledge.”
He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head. He stood up once more and hollered, “Pastor, I will give $20,000!”
This prompted a deacon to shout, “Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!”
“OUR NOT SO SECRET WEAPON” Mark 4:1-20
July 29, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “A Grandma Funny”
A pastor assured his congregation he was their servant and that they should feel free to call him anytime they had a problem.
That very night the pastor’s phone rang at 3 a.m. On the other end was a dear elderly lady who said, “Pastor, I can’t sleep.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” he comforted her.
“But what can I do about it?” the pastor said.
She sweetly replied, “Preach to me a while, pastor.”
“ANOTHER TIME” Mark 3:1, 20-30
July 22, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: EVANGELIZING BARBER
There was a barber who paid close attention at his church whenever the topic of evangelism was discussed. He thought he should be doing more to share his faith with his customers.
One morning the barber told the Lord in prayer, “Today I’m going to witness to the first customer who walks through my door.”
A man came in as the barber opened his shop and said, “I need a shave.”
The barber said, “Yes sir! Just have a seat and I’ll be right with you.” Then he went in the back and prayed a quick prayer saying, “Lord, the first customer just came in and I’m going to witness to him. Give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say. Amen.”
Then the barber came out with his straight razor in one hand and a Bible in the other and told his customer, “I have a question for you: Are you ready to meet your Maker?”
“HAVE YOU HAD A ‘SON OF MAN’ SANDWICH YET?”
Mark 2 July 15, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “A Trick Funny”
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
“He’s a magician, ma’am” said Little Johnny.
“How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?”
“He saws people in half.”
“Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?”
“One half brother and two half sisters.”
