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“DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!” (Mark 16)
Closing Message – “Gospel of Mark” Series
November 18, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “A Pun or Two”
Snow in November happens because people prematurely decorate for Christmas!
What do you call dental xrays? Tooth pics!
When I was little my mom used to feed me alphabet soup claiming I’d love it. I didn’t really – she was just putting words in my mouth.
Did you hear about the accident at Lenscrafters? A new tech got his hand caught in the lens grinder. Injuries were minor, but he really made a spectacle of himself!
Once upon a time there were two mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum had closed, the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor. Before he knew it, he was lost. “Help! Help!” He shouted to his friend. “Help me make it through the knight.”
“FACES OF CALVARY” (Mark 15)
November 11, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
“THE HOUR HAS COME” (Mark 14:32-42)
November 4, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
“WATCH!” – sounds like another time-ly message! (Mark 13)
October 28, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “What would Jesus DRIVE?”
One theory is that Jesus would ride around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, “God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.”
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.”
Joshua drove a sports car with a hole in its muffler, “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.”
And, following the Master’s lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord.”
“WHO ARE YOU IF ONLY GOD IS WATCHING?” (Mark 12:35-44)
October 21, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “A Pastor Funny”
So this pastor gets pulled over by the police. The officer asks ” Have you been drinking?” To which the pastor replies” Only water, sir”. The officers says” Then why do I smell wine?” To which the pastor replies “Oh my! He’s done it again!”
