Author Archives: jstopford

“GOODBYE, FAREWELL & AMEN” (2 Corinthians 13:11-14)

“GOODBYE, FAREWELL & AMEN” (2 Cor. 13:11-14)
RETIREMENT MESSAGE
FBC Earlville, N.Y. December 30, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

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CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF A THRILL OF HOPE” (Ruth 4)

CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF A THRILL OF HOPE” (Ruth 4)
CHRISTMAS EVE SERMONETTE
FBC Earlville, N.Y. December 24, 2018 7 PM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TONIGHT’S “SPECIAL”: “Flight to Egypt”
A little boy came home from Sunday school just before Christmas, proudly showing his dad the picture he drew in class. It looked very much like an airplane with passengers, so his father asked his son what the picture represented.
“It’s the flight to Egypt,” answered the boy.
“I see,” said the father. “And this must be Mary and the baby Jesus.”
“Yes!” said the son enthusiastically.
“Who is flying the plane?”, dad asked, pointing to the cockpit.
Without skipping a beat, the boy answered, “That’s Pontius, the pilot!”
“I see,” said dad. And pointing to a heavy set figure sitting at the back of the plane, he asked, “and who is this?”
“THAT’S Round John Virgin!”

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CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF THE KINSMAN-REDEEMER” (Ruth 3)

CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF THE KINSMAN-REDEEMER” (Ruth 3)
FBC Earlville, N.Y. December 23, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “A Squirrel Funny” – an oldie but goodie
A small town had three churches — and all three were virtually overrun with pesky squirrels.
The first church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that God must have wanted the squirrels there, and the church shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
The second church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creations, so they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The third church came up with the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.

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CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF GOD’S FAVOR” (Ruth 2)

CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF GOD’S FAVOR” (Ruth 2)
FBC Earlville, N.Y. December 9, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “Signs that your church fund-raising campaign is in trouble” [from a book on “Bible Humor” found in our own church library!]:
Your consultant’s first name is “Fingers”
Half of the campaign letters were returned, “addressee unknown”
You have been receiving fast-food coupons in the offering plate.
Commitment Sunday falls during Spring Break.
The Chairman of the Board recommends donating soda bottles and cans as a major funding source of the campaign.
Finally, most members think that “Faith Promise” is the name of the pastor’s secretary.

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CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF 3 LADIES” (Ruth 1)

CHRISTMAS: “A TALE OF 3 LADIES” (Ruth 1)
FBC Earlville, N.Y. December 2, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: A “Shepherd Funny”
Do you know why in New Testament times that shepherds refused to hang glide?
They were soar afraid!

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