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Category Archives: STEWARDSHIP SERIES 2011
“GIVE GOD WHAT’S RIGHT, NOT WHAT’S LEFT”
2011 Stewardship Series, Message #4
FBC Earlville 1-30-11 10:30 AM Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION * Today’s “special”: “A Techie Funny” The father of a family – who is a big-time techie – got his oldest daughter an iPhone for her birthday.
He also got an iPad for his son. Later an iPod for the youngest daughter.
So when his anniversary rolled around, he got his wife an iRon.
That’s when the fight began.
“POOR PROVERBIAL PRINCIPLES”
2011 Stewardship Series, Message #3
FBC Earlville 1-23-11 10:30 AM Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION * Today’s “special”: “The Third Wish” A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, “And what will your third wish be?”
The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”
“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.”
“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. “That was your first wish, too!”
“MONEY ANSWERS EVERYTHING!” (Ecc. 10:18-11:1)
2011 Stewardship Series, Message #2
FBC Earlville 1-16-11 10:30 AM Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor
* Today’s “special”: “Changing Light Bulbs” How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal : 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Baptists : At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Methodists : Undetermined Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans : None Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Amish : What’s a light bulb?
“GOD DOESN’T NEED OUR MONEY” (Galatians 5:16-26) 2011 Stewardship Series, Message #1
FBC Earlville 1-9-11 10:30 AM Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor