Category Archives: DANIEL

“When Will the World Come to An End?” (“Daniel” in Matthew 24)

WHEN WILL THE WORLD COME TO AN END?  (“Daniel” in Matthew 24)

FBC Earlville 9-23-12 10:30 AM  Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor 

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “The Pastor’s Visit”

The preacher was visiting a 99 year old shut-in, having a wonderful visit.  As they were talking and visiting, he saw the candy dish of peanuts next to the chair.  So throughout the visit he would reach over and eat one.  By the end of their visit, he had finished the entire bowl!  He apologized and said, “Miss Mamie, I’m so sorry.  I have eaten your entire bowl of peanuts.”  She said, “that’s ok, preacher.  I’ve already gummed the chocolate off of them.”

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“You Shall Know That I Am the Lord” (Ezekiel 14)

YOU SHALL KNOW THAT I AM THE LORD  (Daniel in Ezekiel 14)

FBC Earlville 9-16-12 10:30 AM  Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor 

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “Legal Speeder?”:

A woman was driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over. “License and registration, please.”

“It’s OK, officer, she replied. “I have a special license that allows me to do this.”

“That’s impossible! There is no such license,” said the cop.

The woman reached into her purse and handed him her license.

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“For a Time, Times, and Half a Time” (Daniel 12)

FOR A TIME, TIMES, AND HALF A TIME  (Daniel 12)

FBC Earlville 9-9-12 10:30 AM  Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor 

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “A Farming Funny” :

A farmer was milking his cow.

 

He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

 

It went in one ear and out the udder.

 

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“I Hate Appointments” (Daniel 11)

I HATE APPOINTMENTS  (Daniel 11)

FBC Earlville 9-2-12 10:30 AM  Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor 

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “A Hush Funny“ :

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

 

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

 

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“3 WEEKS WITHOUT A BATH, FOOD, OR MOXIE – OH MY!” (Daniel 10)

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3 WEEKS WITHOUT A BATH, FOOD, OR MOXIE – OH MY!  (Daniel 10)

FBC Earlville 8-19-12 10:30 AM  Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “A Pirate Funny“

So a pirate walked into a bar, [OK, so my wife says not to mention “bar” in church!]  and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”

“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”

“What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”

“Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”

The bartender replied, “Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”

The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really.”

“What about that eye patch?”

“Oh,” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye.”

“You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from a little bird poop.”

“It was my first day with the hook.”

Have you ever wondered what angels are all about, and what they do throughout the day?  Daniel 10 gives us a vivid insight!     PRAYER   

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