Category Archives: Follow Me

“Holy Communion, Batman!”

“FOLLOW ME” SERIES – #8

“Holy Communion, Batman!”  (John 10:22-30)

FBC Earlville 10-30-11  10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “Golf Funny”  The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.  He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill.  Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to the other ant and said, “If we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball.”

 

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“Light-Headed”

“FOLLOW ME” SERIES – #7

“LIGHT-HEADED”  (John 8:1-12)

FBC Earlville 10-16-11  10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

 

INTRODUCTION

Today’s “Special”:  “The Long-winded Pastor” – A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday  after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

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“Followers Finding Followers”

“FOLLOW ME” SERIES – #6

“FOLLOWERS FINDING FOLLOWERS”  (John 1:35-51)

FBC Earlville 10-9-11  10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “A Letter Funny”

A wholesaler from up North sent a letter to the postmaster of a small Midwestern town. He asked for the name of an honest lawyer who would take a collection case against a local debtor who had refused to pay for a shipment of the wholesaler’s goods. He got this reply:

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“What’s In It For Me?”

“FOLLOW ME” SERIES – #5

“WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?”  (Matt. 19:16ff)

FBC Earlville 10-2-11  10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “Language Funny”

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.

The two Americans just stare at him.

“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?” he tries.

The two continue to stare.

“Parlare Italiano?”

No response.

“Hablan ustedes Espanol?”

Still nothing.

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“You’re NOT in the Driver’s Seat”

“FOLLOW ME” SERIES – #4

“YOU’RE NOT IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT”  (Matt. 16:21-27)

FBC Earlville 9-25-11  10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

 

INTRODUCTION    Today’s “Special”:  “Dad at the supermarket”:

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

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