Category Archives: HOSEA

WHO IS WISE?

“WHO IS WISE?” (Hosea 14)
(HOSEA SERIES #12) FBC Earlville 1-26-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION SPECIAL: “Bird-brained”
Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman’s two pets.
“The Rottweiler won’t hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don’t talk to the parrot.”
Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time.
“Wow, you’re pretty fat,” the bird would say. “Hey, fatso, you couldn’t change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher.”
Before long, Randy had had enough. “You know, bird, you think you’re pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea.”
The parrot was silent for a moment, and then, with a gleam in its eye, said, “All right. Get him, Spike.”

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WHERE IS YOUR KING?

“WHERE IS YOUR KING?” (Hosea 13)
(HOSEA SERIES #11) FBC Earlville 1-19-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

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RETURN! MAINTAIN! WAIT!

“RETURN, MAINTAIN, WAIT” (Hosea 12:1-6)
(HOSEA SERIES #10) FBC Earlville 1-12-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION SPECIAL: “A Duck”
A man in a movie theater looks over and sees a duck sitting next to him.
“Are you a duck?” he asks the duck.
“Why yes I am,” said the duck.
“What are you doing in a movie theater?” asked the man.
“Well, I really enjoyed the book,” replied the duck.

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THE OPPOSITION TO THE FIRST CHRISTMAS

“THE OPPOSITION TO THE FIRST CHRISTMAS” (Hosea 11:1ff)
(HOSEA SERIES #9) FBC Earlville 12-22-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION SPECIAL: “A Drawing Funny”
Sunday school children were asked to draw their rendition of the Christmas story.
Most of the kids drew manger scenes to include the shepherds, angels, the star, the baby Jesus in the manger as would be expected. Little Jimmy proudly showed his picture of a jetliner. There were 4 distinct faces looking out the windows.
When the Sunday school teacher asked Jimmy to explain the drawing, he said it was the “flight out of Egypt.” He pointed to the one face and said “that is Joseph,” another face was Mary, the little face of course was Jesus.
The teacher asked him who is the face in the front of the plane. Jimmy replied, “It’s Pontius, the pilot, of course.”

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IT IS TIME TO SEEK THE LORD

“It Is Time to Seek the Lord” (Hosea 9-10)
(HOSEA SERIES #8) FBC Earlville 12-8-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION SPECIAL: “Married Life”
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

Read: 9:7-11 What do we give to a hopeless society? Religion? (Which one? Dalai Lama tweeted! “His Holiness expresses condolences at the passing away of Nelson Mandela” Isn’t that the title the Pope has for himself?) Church? (do I have to choose which one? One of the reporters left the church of her father because she couldn’t breathe there – now she is, in essence, her own church – and perhaps as hopeless as before).
What do we give a hopeless society? Hosea will tell us today! PRAYER

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