Category Archives: HOSEA

THE CAKE, THE CALF, & THE CREATOR

“The Cake, The Calf, & The Creator” (Hosea 7-8)
(HOSEA SERIES #7) FBC Earlville 12-1-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION TODAY’S SPECIAL: “Signs you overdid it this Thanksgiving”
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the recliner.
~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your email.
~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
~ You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.
~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

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EARNEST COMES TO CHURCH

“EARNEST COMES TO CHURCH” (Hosea 6)
(HOSEA SERIES #6)
FBC Earlville 11-24-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION TODAY’S SPECIAL: “Old Habits Die Hard”
A couple of hours into a visit with her son, a mother noticed that he hadn’t lit up a cigarette, not even once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?”
“No,” he replied, “I’ve got a cold and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”
“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.”

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UNTIL

“UNTIL” (Hosea 5:15)
(HOSEA SERIES #5)
FBC Earlville 11-17-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION TODAY’S SPECIAL: “The Hits”-for those missing golf!
The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into some other woods.
Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap.
All the while, he’d noticed that the club pro had been watching. “What club should I use now?” he asked the pro.
“I don’t know,” the pro replied. “What game are you playing?”

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WILL YOU ‘LIKE’ ME?

“WILL YOU ‘LIKE’ ME?” (Hosea 4)
(HOSEA SERIES #4)
FBC Earlville 11-10-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION TODAY’S SPECIAL: “Proud Moms”
Three women were sitting around, bragging about their children.
The first one says, “You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He’s now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago.”
The second woman says, “You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. He’s now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles.”
The last woman says, “You know my son, he never did too well is school. He never went to any university, but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman.”
The other two women ask, “What is a sports repairman?”
The woman then replies, “He fixes games. You know, hockey games, football games, baseball games …”

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THE GREATEST CHAPTER IN THE BIBLE

“THE GREATEST CHAPTER IN THE BIBLE” (Hosea 3)
(HOSEA SERIES #3)
FBC Earlville 11-03-13 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION I received an email after we got back from our 4 day trip to Connecticut telling about how great a day y’all had last Sunday with Pastor Coe. Ironically, about the same time was this cartoon on the Calendar that Doug gave me for Christmas last year, what I’ll call “Doug’s Special”:
Pastor Ups and Downs –
Good news: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad news: You were on vacation

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