Category Archives: james

“NO MAN CAN TAME THE TONGUE” (James 3:1-12)

“NO MAN CAN TAME THE TONGUE” (James 3:1-12)
Series: JAMES June 25, 2017 10:30 AM
FBC Earlville, NY J B Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S SPECIAL: Some quick “thots”
Why doesn’t somebody cross electric blankets with toasters so we could pop out of bed each morning?
The chance of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
The only reason they say Women and children first is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

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“I GOT FAITH! I BELIEVE IN JESUS! I’M GOOD TO GO!” (James 2:14-26)

“I GOT FAITH! I BELIEVE IN JESUS! I’M GOOD TO GO!” (James 2:14-26)
Series: JAMES June 18, 2017 10:30 AM J B Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S SPECIAL: “A New Minister Funny”
A new minister comes to down. Seeking to get to know the town better, he takes a walk downtown and asks a little boy, “where can I find the Post Office?” And is told. Then he asks, “where can I find the grocery store?”, and he is told. Finally, he offers to the boy to come to church Sunday so that the boy can find Jesus. The boy wisely replies, “mister, you couldn’t find the post office or the grocery store. How do you expect to find Jesus?”

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“MERCY WINS!” (James 2:1-13)

“MERCY WINS !” (James 2:1-13)
Series: JAMES June 11, 2017 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S SPECIAL: FELINE PHYSICS OR CAT LAWS
LAW OF CAT INERTIA: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY: All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT: A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
LAW OF PILL REJECTION: Any pill given to a cat has potential energy to reach escape velocity.
LAW OF SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM: Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

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“THE FONZIE PRINCIPLE” (James 1:19-27)

“THE FONZIE PRINCIPLE” (James 1:19-27)
Series: JAMES June 4, 2017 10:30 AM.
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S SPECIAL: “A Moses Funny”
Nine year old Dewey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”
“Now, Dewey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.
“Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”

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” ‘GOD WON’T GIVE ME MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE’ – REALLY?” (James 1:9-18)

“‘GOD WON’T GIVE ME MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE’ – REALLY?” (James 1:9-18)
Series: JAMES May 28, 2017 10:30 AM.
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S SPECIAL: “A Goat Funny”
Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I keep thinking I’m a goat!
Doctor: How long have you had this feeling?
Patient: Ever since I was a kid.

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