Category Archives: Sermons

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO FOR YOU?” (Mark 10:35-52)

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO FOR YOU?” (Mark 10:35-52)
September 30, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “The Long-Winded Visiting Preacher”
A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point during his sermon and a member of the congregation responded with “Amen” or “That’s right, preacher” he would get wound up even more and launch into another lengthy discourse.
Finally, the host pastor started responding to every few sentences with “Amen, Pharaoh!” The guest minister wasn’t sure what that meant, but after several more “Amen, Pharaoh!’s” he finally concluded his very lengthy sermon.
After the service concluded and the congregation had left, the visiting minister turned to his host and asked, “What exactly did you mean when you said “Amen, Pharaoh?”
His host replied, “I was telling you to let my people go!”

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“DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!” (Mark 9:14-32)

“DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!” (Mark 9:14-32)
September 23, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “An English Teacher Funny”
When I was in grade 7, I used to ask a lot of questions.
One day, I asked my English Teacher, “Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation? For example, the letter H in “Hour”, “Honor”, etc.?
My English Teacher said, “We are not ignoring them, they’re considered silent.” I was even more confused!
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria. I ate all the food and returned her the empty container.
My English Teacher asked, “What happened? I told you to go and heat my food. You are returning me an empty container.”
I replied, “Ma’am, I thought “H” was silent.”

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“WHAT? I DON’T NEED NO MORE LESSONS, LORD!” (Mark 8)

“WHAT? I DON’T NEED NO MORE LESSONS, LORD!” (Mark 8)
September 16, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: “An Offering Funny”
A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: “Don’t pay for me Daddy, I’m under five.”

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“WANTING TO BE A KING, MAN BECOMES A SLAVE” (Isaiah 29:13-16; Mark 7:1-8)

“WANTING TO BE A KING, MAN BECOMES A SLAVE”
Mark 7:1-8 Isaiah 29:13-16
September 9, 2018 10:30 AM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor

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BAPTISM SERVICE: Shiloh Family Retreat Center August 26, 2018

BAPTISM SERVICE: Shiloh Family Retreat Center August 26, 2018 2 PM
Rev. Jeremy B. Stopford, Pastor First Baptist Church, Earlville, NY

TODAY’S “SPECIAL”: MY FAVORITE BAPTISM “FUNNY”
The new pastor, fresh out of Bible School, was officiating his very first baptism service.
He gets the candidate into the water. He asks the candidate if he loves Jesus and what his favorite verse is.
Then he asks the candidate, “do you now yield yourself to be baptized?” The candidate excitedly said, “Yes!”.
The nervous pastor says to the candidate, “It is my joy to baptize you in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Drink ye all of it.”

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