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Category Archives: Theology 101
THEOLOGY 101: PART 8
FBC Earlville 11-21-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “A Facebook Funny”
Pete is trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day he walks down the street and tells passersby what he has eaten, how he feels at the moment, what he has done the night before, what he will do later, and with whom.
He gives them pictures of his family, his dog, and of his gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
He also listens to their conversations, gives them the “thumbs up” and tells them he likes them.
And it works just like Facebook! He already has four people following him: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.
THEOLOGY 101: PART 7
“THIS BOOK WILL KEEP YOU FROM SIN, AND…!” (2 Pet. 1:19-21)
FBC Earlville 11-15-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “Good Sport”
Teacher: “Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of baseball.”
Johnny: “Heres my paper, teacher.”
Teacher: “Johnny, you barely spent two minutes writing your essay! Read me what you wrote.”
Johnny: “Game called off on account of rain.”
THEOLOGY 101: PART 6
“THIS SERMON IS ALL WET!” (Mark 1:1-12)
FBC Earlville 11-8-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “A Judge Funny”
In the traffic court of a large city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to the judge that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate dismissal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
A wild gleam came into the judge’s eye.
“You’re a schoolteacher, hum?” he said. “Ma’am, today I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I’ve waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at the table and 500 times write, “I went through a red light”!
THEOLOGY 101: PART 5
“COMMUNE DAY” What? (1 Corinthians 11:23-34)
FBC Earlville 11-1-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “Ye Have Not Because Ye Ask Not”
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.
By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention …”
THEOLOGY 101: PART 4
“1 + 1 + 1 = 1” (Isaiah 6:1-10)
FBC Earlville 10-25-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “Kings and Queens of Florida”
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.
“My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.
“I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.
“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a third.
“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another contributed.
“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
“Thank God we can all still drive,” said one woman cheerfully.