GIMME A BREAK! Labor Day Sunday 2014

“GIMME A BREAK” (Mark 4:35-41)
FBC Earlville 8-31-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “First Day of School!”
It was the first day of school for these new kindergarteners.
The teacher, Miss Julie, was giving her class instructions. She said, “now, if you have to go to the bathroom, hold up 2 fingers.”
A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”

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Why GOD? (Mark 10:13-22)

“Why GOD?” (Mark 10:13-22)
FBC Earlville 8-24-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “A Football Funny”
A guy decides to bring his new  girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: “Oh it was great, but there is one thing I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand?”
The girlfriend replies, “Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling “get the quarter back, get the quarter back.” So I thought to myself, it’s just a quarter!”

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WHY, God?

“WHY, God?”
FBC Earlville 8-10-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “Another Golf Funny”
Golfer 1: “Why are you so late?”
Golfer 2: “I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!”

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THE GOSPEL 2014 VBS KICK-OFF SUNDAY

“THE GOSPEL” (Romans 1:1-2)
FBC Earlville 8-10-14 10:30 AM VBS KICKOFF SUNDAY
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION Today’s “Special”: “A Golf Funny”
One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
Ben searched diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spotted something shiny. As he got closer, he realized that the shiny object was in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
Ben screamed out to his golfing partner: “Hey Thomas, come here, I’ve got big trouble down here.”
Thomas came running over to the edge of the ravine and called out: “What’s the matter Ben?”
Ben shouted back in a nervous voice: “Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can’t get out of here with an 8-iron.”

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IF GOD HAD A BUCKET LIST (John 15:1-13)

“IF GOD HAD A BUCKET LIST” (John 15:1-13)
FBC Earlville 8-3-14 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor

INTRODUCTION Today’s Special: “A Furnace Funny”
A feisty 70-year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor.
“Labor charges!” she exclaimed. “It only took you five minutes.”
The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call.
“Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor,” the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.

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