“MAGOR-MISSABIB” (Jer. 20)
JEREMIAH SERIES MESSAGE #6
FBC Earlville 7-26-15 10:30 AM
Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
“MAGOR-MISSABIB” (Jer. 20)
“JUST WHO IS THE POTTER?” (Jer. 18:1-12)
JEREMIAH SERIES MESSAGE #5
FBC Earlville 7-18-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Funny: “A Hockey Funny”
There is a story about a new clerk in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could buy half a grapefruit. Not knowing what to do, he excused himself to ask the manager.
“Some nut out there wants to buy half a grapefruit…” he began, and, suddenly realizing that the customer had entered the office behind him, continued, “… and this lovely lady would like to buy the other half.”
The manager was impressed with the way the clerk amicably resolved the problem and they later started chatting. “Where are you from?” asked the store manager.
“Lancaster, Pennsylvania,” replied the clerk, “home of ugly women and great hockey teams.”
“Oh,” challenged the manager, “my WIFE is from Lancaster”.
Without skipping a beat, the clerk asked, “And what team was she on?”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH OUR NATION?” (Jer. 17:5-10)
JEREMIAH SERIES MESSAGE #4
FBC Earlville 6-28-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Funny “Attitude Adjustment”
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes six visits.
Read 17:1-4: Our series in a selection of great verses from the Book of Jeremiah now progresses to chapter 17. I couldn’t have planned this chapter for a better week in our nation’s history: the issues over the confederate flag, the two escaped prisoners, the declarations of the Supreme Court. As we look forward to this Friday’s “Fourth of July” holiday – and the reminder of the start of our nation – Chapter 17 is a call to Judah, and it is a fresh reminder to us. PRAYER
“I GLORY IN ME…ME…ME!” (Jer. 9:23-24)
JEREMIAH SERIES MESSAGE #3
FBC Earlville 6-21-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Funny “ABC’s of Life”:
Q: What two words contain the most letters?
A: Post office.
Our series in a selection of great verses from the Book of Jeremiah now progresses to chapter 9. For next Sunday please read chapter 17, and for July 5, the book of Lamentations.
Jeremiah is known as “the weeping prophet” because of his compassion for the Lord and for his nation. Chapter 9 will show us that. How about us – do we weep in prayer for our nation?
“IS THE YOKE ON YOU?” (Jer. 2)
JEREMIAH SERIES MESSAGE #2
FBC Earlville 6-7-15 10:30 AM Rev. J.B. Stopford, Pastor
INTRODUCTION Today’s Funny: “I Want My Mummy”
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.
“I’ve just discovered the 3,000-year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.”
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?”
“Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, ’10,000 shekels on Goliath.’”